Wednesday, June 21, 2006

poem draft 1

she has hair like i'd imagine a banshee would

her countenance is dreary

shes prone to feeling "down"

she longs for something selfless

selfishly

her po- faced demeanour makes me want to scream

we are not going steady

unflinching, unaffected

i throw her all the aid i can

like food parcels

from hercules

to Somalians
another rift

then stiff silence

through a sulky and difficult mouth poured eager and extravagant anger.

You honked

like a vintage car

bleated for my inconstancies

to another.

We wared

we war

like we own eachother

like our souls were turf reclaimed

inch by inch.

Our love

as reckless as wind

took liberties with our bodies.

We laughed and prodded and probed

meaow as cats

barbed

we've penetrated eachother' s soft inconsistencies.

I've found a lying niche

ill squat

dug in.

Monday, June 19, 2006

for lo!

from seasons in the abyss to

sadistik exekution,

from metal up your ass! to smudge... to jewel... bob pollard and moz.

provided an education in reslience...

of fierce intelligence and originality... liked pasolini, slightly twisted,

eager to be deliberately obtuse whenever possible.

idiosyncratic and multilingual, learned ancient greek and latin.

was bumbagana for a bit

of eora

so civilised, a diletant, yet so dirty, shall we say, well rounded?

a well rounded handsome man, flat of foot but arch of temperament...

better with english than me after 16 months.

retired to the beach with his betrothed

an infidel

an ideal

...then left...

no fanta pants in indo.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

"you can shovel shit cant you..?"

immortal words.

delivered with an aplomb by none other than the divine miss tina turner in the rollicking third part of the classic mad max triligy.

its got everything.

its got frank thring.

its got helen buday.

its got robert grubb.

its got justine clark and shes gotta be, what? 10? 12?
she looks exactly the same!!!! shes really hot!!!!

fuck me how cold is this winter?

its sydney for fucks...

im seeing a lot more dvds, etc.. these days.

watched bmx bandits yesterday.

i have a new hero.

his name is david argue and he is the greatest living australian actor.

he is totally insane.

also saw a great little film called roy holsdotter live.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

might as well face it...

...im addicted to blog

its after 12 and i cant sleep. too many coffees too late in the day. ive kicked my own ass. worse, ive punched my self in the balls 5 times. 5 times. 3 times could be construed as an act of passion. 5 times, now thats state sanctioned. thats self state sanctioned. thats a metaphor for not being good to myself by drinking too many coffees too late in the day.

thank you africa,

thank you india,

thank you alanis.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

given that i havent posted anything for ages, here i am shootin you two, thats right, TWO in one day!

i have so much to tell you...

as beth orton, the "come down queen", once said: "where do i start? where do i begin?"

incidentley*, i met her on crown street back in 99. she was record hunting with the chemical brothers. i got their autographs, the dorks, but i terrified poor old beth. shes sensitive. she must be. shes perpetually coming down. shes the comedown queen. you dont get a royal title like that with out some serious coming down. she actually went temporarily blind, for about a year, from taking too many Es. that would have to be the ultimate comedown, a whole year, imagine: waking up one morning after a heavy night clubbing, and being so off your chops you actually, literally, cant see.

oh well.


i have unlimited access to a computor at the moment so im making the most of it.


i have a confession to make. i am actually feeling a tad guilty. its about me gadge, see. or more specifically the whole gadge/ house fiasco.

*unscheduled coffee break*

the garage thing ended badly. perhaps i shoulda been more discreet. perhaps i never shoulda told nobody, see? perhaps i never shoulda exited me gadge out them big ol barn doors, ie, the front, and kept it secret squirrel out the back. i had my bed set up in there, with a mosquito net to keep away the bugs but more importantly the bits of concrete and flakes of paint that would fall from the ceiling and the walls. it was more psychological protection, really, because as we all know eventually those fine particles are going to enter your lungs and then your blood stream and get up to all manner of mischeif in there but the net helped me sleep at night.

anyway, sure the bed was obviously a bed (procured from the street) and there were definetly my clothes all over the place and a guitar and a bass and acoupla of couches and rugs on the floor and another blanket hanging form the celing to catch other lead based paint bits and some photos of me in japan , and me and me mum on the wall, but was it that obvious that someone was living in there?

the answer is, of course, of course.

the landlord came over to do some once in a decade maintenance and went in there to get some gyprock and got sus.

i was blaze, i admit it. i made no effort to hide the fact that some one was living in an uninhabitable space when, in hindsight, i should' ve.


what transpired at the end of the day is that we get a letter from the council saying that they have reason to believe that we are harbouring backpackers and
that they will come over to inspect and make sure that no one is, or has ever lived in that garage. we dont know who told the council. it may have been a neighbour, or the landlord, or some disgruntled punter who took exception to the jelly wrestling extravaganza of the last party.

For christs sake, a french man lived in that garage for eighteen months and nobody cared! How times have changed.

so i had to move out

i spent a whole weekend making that space my own. i painted the walls, the floor, cleaned her out, sanded her back. for the first time in my life i felt practical, inventive, physical and charismatic. like some one from a lifestyle program.

it was my space.

i created my own space.


*check speliing
well im at a loss

after the third move in as many weeks ive settled, once again temporarily, in a room, which is not my own, in a suburb ive never lived before, with people who i know vaguely. the digs this time round are pokey, charming and cluttered: forever looking for the elusive perfect space, wherever that may be, i am unable to give a definite time as to how long i will be here. maybe ill move in to that warehouse in surry hills if it becomes available, its always been a fantasy of mine to live in a warehouse, maybe that room that the italian girl is vacating in glebe- the rents cheaper- but am i willing to risk the gamble with a bunch a boho randoms? Sure! Why not? Im pretty resiliant these days. after three and a half weeks of running around the cross with nairy a stich to cover me , caked in dirt, chocolate sauce and corn syrup, hair gel and zinc, for no money, in the beginnings of the coldest sydney winter that i can remember ever, all in the name of art... for a show which i was then told i was two dimensional in... im a lazy actor apparently... do a co op bitch. i cant shake this melancholy. moreover ( I love using "moreover"... and "furthermore", for that matter) i was living in a fucking garage.

my garage leaked on me in the rain, it was dusty- and im not talking household dust, im talking concrete dust: the real mccoy mother fuckers, industrial strength. the first night i spent in there the acrylic floor paint i used, a lovely russet, hadnt dried and i had awful, crazy dreams and a slamming headache. it was a scary night whats more: the wind was howling, in that bondi coastal way, and i was playing wagners "tristan and isolde" on the stereo. the door kept banging and i swore the BOOGER man was coming to get me.


on a lighter note. i went and saw belle and sebastian the other night and they were utterley charming. a little too charming for rock stars. i like my rock stars to be more unapproachable. more detatched. more hating. stuart murdoch has lovely glaswegian lilt, however, which ive stolen. im an accent theif.

how are you all?